Moon

A mysterious object that appears in the sky and threatens to crush us all. The moon (or 'puer mortuus est' in Latin) first appeared in 69,420 BC, when an ancient celestial being (which was born at the start of the universe) accidentally made mozzarella from the planet of Italy and threw it at the earth when it went bad. It became so stale, that when people landed on the moon, they thought it was made of endstone!

The moon's structure consists of a stone-like crust around the core. it is 90% hard, but in the very core, there is still soft mozzarella, which is secretly mined by the Italians to put on pizza. in the 1164, a plumber named Mario landed on the moon and discovered the cheese inside by repeatedly pressing 'A' then 'Z'. shortly after showing his friends how to get it, he was hit by a magic rainbow star and whisked away to another galaxy, along with his brother and a few others, to another galaxy, where they remain to this day.

Mario was also rumoured to be involved in the assassination of John F Kennedy.