The Jamaican of Love

The Jamaican of Love is a mythical creature that is said to be from the planet of Jam-aica. This being is said to ride on his magical heart-shaped balloon (made of real hearts) and give love to all.

The story of The Jamaican of Love is one of war, famine and heartbreak. He was once a Gay sofa salesman living in New Zealand. He was breaking into someone's house to steal their slippers, then a radioactive Pigeon (who was also a wizard) flew towards him and he ate it. Later that night, he died of testicular cancer.

His dead body was wrapped in bacon and thrown down a moderately sized cavern. Suddenly, at 5:73AM, he was struck by Radioactive Lightning and was reserected! His heart inflated and turned into a heart-shaped balloon. Every night, he flies through the windows of children's bedrooms and rubs bacon on their faces, giving them the ability to read their own mind!

He also runs a massive drug dealing complex in west Brazil :)